Erchie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's plans for his forthcoming wedding.

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings,the minister, even ma stag night..."

Erchie nods approvingly.

"Hivvens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.

"A kilt?" exclaims Erchie, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that!

"And what's the tartan?" Erchie then enquires.

"Ach," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."