| Today was a bad day |
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| Written by Arizona |
| Friday, 13 February 2009 18:26 |
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Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. ~~~~~ Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. ~~~~~ Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. ~~~~~ Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". ~~~~~ Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name “Mom” is right next to “Mike” in my contacts list. ~~~~~ Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. ~~~~~ Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the acquaintance congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. ~~~~~ Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my "tool" was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. ~~~~~ Today I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites- and ended up meeting my own wife. ~~~~~ Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. ~~~~
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